CHANGE
What kind of reaction do you have when you read that
word?
I don’t mean the change
under the sofa cushion. I mean altering behavior. I mean converting to a new,
better way of life.
Change sometimes scares me.
Should I change? Is it worth it? Well, you just might find me on the
fence.
There I perch, one leg slung
over on the ‘old way’, one dangling into the ‘new way’. My body isn’t
comfortable; those pickets have a way of urging me to make up my mind. Well,
you'd think they would. But it still takes me a long time to swing
that leg over and drop into new territory.
Isn’t that terrible? But that's just the way it goes since the fall of Adam. Stuck in old
ways, it’s hard to jump out of the ruts in the road that my old behaviors have
created. They’re familiar roads, even if they’re the wrong ones. I have a
weakness for the familiar.
My indecision is worse than
just plopping back on the "old habit" side. Actually, it would be better for me
if I did. At least I’d make a choice. Scripture says:
“I know your works. You are neither cold nor hot.
Would that you were cold or hot? So because you are lukewarm, and neither cold
nor hot, I will spit you out of my mouth.” Rev. 3: 15-16
Oh boy. The Lord is
certainly encouraging me to stop hanging here. This kind of language really expresses the urgency of the
situation. So what’s the holdup?
I can agree to change, that’s
no problem. Doing the work to make that change happen? That’s scary. I’d love
to move to a different place, I really would. It’s the work that comes with the
change that’s giving me hives.
Mrs. Olsen decided it was a
good time to quit smoking, because she broke her smoking hand. The decision to quit smoking was easy
part. The actual, moment-to-moment focus it takes to break that habit, is proving to be downright excruciating. It’s the thought of that kind of work, that keeps me perched on the
pickets.
Cast held to her brow…teeth
gritted…this is the face of holiness. This is the face of fighting the good
fight. Am I ready to put that kind
of effort into my bad habits?
Gotta start somewhere. I
need to jump down off that fence, that’s what I gotta do. United with God’s
grace, it’s time to face my faults “every single minute of every single day.”
Who said it was going to be easy?
Deciding to begin doesn’t
mean that I will automatically succeed. There may be some backsliding, some
slippery slopes. But at least I won’t be riding that fence anymore.
The Lord smiles when I
struggle, because I’m willing to try. Not because I am assured of victory.
Labels: change, decision, ruts, victory
